TV Crew
by Holy Trinity
Summary: AU: Buffy works for a TV company. Her arch rival? Spike of course.
1. Mr?

This story was inspired by the T4 program about Tom Cruise's "Collaterol". (Or how ever you spell it). The reporter on and off the red carpet was not only ugly, did not only dress appallingly but she had bad hair! I mean really! What sort of an excuse is that? Don't these people have hair and make-up assistants. Why didn't the camera man tell her she looked like shit?

* * *

"Mr.Cruise!"

"Mr.Cruise!"

"Mr! …"

"ugh"

Buffy Summers lowered the microphone and turned to her cameraman, Jack, who sent her a shrug. Tom Cruise was now past her on the red carpet and had stopped to talk to another reporter.

Buffy groaned and motioned the microphone at Jack so he would start packing up. She had contemplated throwing it at Tom Cruise's head in order to get his attention but dismissed on the terms that she couldn't be bothered with another lawsuit, God knows the last one had been bad wnough. Sighing she turned around and started towards the car park with Jack. They had barely reached the end of the red carpet and had just started crossing over to the car park when an unnatural silence fell over the screaming fans.

Buffy turned to stare only to be confronted by a speeding black limo screeching to a halt just in front of her, blocking her view to the red carpet and splashing her from head to foot in muddy water.

She started to fume and as the driver got out the car she stepped up to give him a piece of her mind. Letting out a squeak of indignation as he brushed past her, she watched as he crossed over and opened the door of the limo.

The crowd suddenly went wild. Buffy jumped up and down but all that she could see was a crown of gleaming slicked back platinum hair over the top of the limo. But that was all she needed.

"Spike" she hissed.

Dragging Jack with her she moved over the side of the limo and stopped to watch as Tom Cruise, **Tom Cruise!** Made **his **way **down** the red carpet to Spike.

"Correct me if I'm wrong" muttered Jack. "But doesn't the reporter generally greet the star and not the other way around?"

"But Spikey is a star!"

Wincing from the excessive use of exclamation marks Buffy turned to stare at the squealer. A perky blonde Cruise fan stared at her, Tom Cruise grinned at Buffy from where he was stretched across the girl's ample breasts. His face rippled as she stuck out her manicured hand for Buffy to shake.

"Hi! I'm Harmony!"

Jack pushed his hand in front of Buffy's and clearing his throat introduced himself. Turning away from Jack and his fascination will Harmony's ehem brains, Buffy once again faced the crowd. Spike was shaking hands with Tom Cruise and after they posed together for one last picture he started to make his way back down towards the limo. Towards her!

Gazing frantically around for someone to save her Buffy started slowly backing away. She was sooo not in the mood for Spike right now. Jack was too preoccupied with Harmony's assets to be of any use to her right now she noticed so she decided to make a run for it. Unfortunately she hadn't taken into account the large bump in the carpet and therefore made a spectacular spectacle of herself by flying through the air and landing at the perfect spot. Right in front of Spike. Just what she needed to start her day.

She focused on the smooth hand in front of her face and ignoring it, pushed herself up onto her feet.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in…. Pet, if you needed help dressing you should have called"

_I'm not listening_

_I am not listening_

"And that hair, I mean how did security let you onto here"

_Beneath me, Spike is beneath me_

"Try and stay clear of puddles, luv, I'd hate to see you come down with a cold"

And that was when her fist slammed into his face.

* * *

OKAY! Tell me what you think? This is the first Buffy I've writtten so all critisism is readily accepted. PLEASE REVEIW!

p.s. and yes this is another Buffy makeover story BUT I'm getting through it with humour and without the cliches. The thing is I havent read AU BTVS for a while so drop me a line to tell me what they are, either here or at


	2. What?

Yes…. The moment millions of reviewers (well like six) have been waiting for!

* * *

"Buffy you have got to stop doing this!"

Willow paced up and down the cramped office, her bright red hair flying every time she took a sharp turn.

"One law suit was bad enough! Do you want to go through that again? We were tied up in court for months!"

Buffy nodded meekly.

Willow moved behind the desk and sat down sighing, "We just can't afford that this time We're going to have to settle with whatever they ask us. And that could be anything from cancelling one of our primetimes, to firing you."

"Will, I get it, really it's fine. You want me to leave just say the word." Buffy started to get up her chair when a sharp "SIT" snapped across the desk.

Sighing, she sat back down and glanced through the glass longingly. A naked girl was strolling down the corridor, a naked girl with just a few tassels placed strategically on her body .

"Umm…." Buffy stared startled at Willow

Willow waved a hand nonchalantly "People protesting some of our shows with a more adult nature. And don't change the subject"

She looked wearily at Buffy, "You're just going to have to sit tight until their request comes in. Now remember, if they say jump…."

"I sit?"

At the sound of Willow's teeth grinding, Buffy quickly changed her answer.

"I meant… how high!"

* * *

Buffy sat in her office biting her already worn nails as she waited for Willow to ring and tell her what Aurelius Networking, Spikes company, were requesting.

_Please don't let me get fired_

_Please don't let me get fired_

_Please don._

She grabbed the ringing phone so fast the main body fell onto the floor. Wincing at the crash Buffy tried to temper her vocal chords into something with some semblance of control.

"Hello, Buffy Summers speaking?"

"We got the request Buffy.."

Williws voice was neutral, not too good but not too bad. Crossing her fingers on her free hand tightly, Buffy waited for the news.

"They want you to switch over to their network…"

_What?_

Willows voice suddenly became slightly more apologetic.

"..You're..um… you have to…. becomeSpikepersonalsassistant."

"WHAT!"

* * *

AN: Yes folks, that's it for another bit. Sorry it took so long but I'm slap bang in the middle of GCSE's. Oh and sorry about the shortness!

Only five more left! Mwah ha. Anyway, please please please REVIEW. And give me suggestions! And criticism!

Love you all, thank you so much for reviewing!

Xx

D


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